I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
