maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
