I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize