who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
