He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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