i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
