I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
