You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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