I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
