put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Holy sore nipples Batman
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize