Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
