he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
