I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
