this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
