Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize