hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
