Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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