This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Boobs speak an international language.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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