And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I believe in your delicious
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
