my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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