He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You don't make any sense
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