so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
