Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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