Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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