Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
