they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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