Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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