he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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