he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
