I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She's the barista slut.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
