what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
