Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize
