i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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