I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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