She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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