being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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