I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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