sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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