The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
