I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
