Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
