what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize