I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
