he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
