She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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