Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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