so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
