idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
