Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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