Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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