I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
