i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
