We're facebook friends in real life
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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