I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
