why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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