we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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