I just pynch a tree in the face
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
