Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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