The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
