she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
