Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize