Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
