What did we do last night that was yellow?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
