I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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