So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
