I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
