I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
