when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
