wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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